Jill offers counselling specifically tailored to neurodiverse couples, where one or both partners identify or suspect that they have a profile consistent with autism. Jill understands the unique dynamics and challenges that neurodiverse couples face and provides a safe and supportive space for couples to explore their differences and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships through improved communication, understanding and effective coping strategies.
Neurodiversity describes differences in the brain that manifest in diverse ways of experiencing and responding to the world. In a neurodiverse relationship, each partner may have different communication styles, sensory sensitivities, social interaction preferences, and ways of processing information. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and challenges in a relationship.
Jill helps to translate these differences to support you to understand each other’s unique neurology and communication styles whilst fostering an environment of mutual respect and empathy, acknowledging that no single partner is to blame for conflict in a partnership.
Traditional couples counselling may not adequately address the unique profile of neurodiverse partnerships. Jill has a Master of Counselling, significant neurodiverse-specific training, nearly 25 years of experience as a counsellor and three decades in a neurodiverse marriage. She supports clients through an online platform and has experience supporting couples in marriages, de-facto partnerships and same-sex relationships through individual and couples’ therapy.
Jill’s unique approach builds capability in partnerships by teaching specific skills and strategies through verbal and visual teaching tools, using specific scripts and role-play opportunities, and frequent checks for understanding. This may involve teaching strategies for clear and direct communication, active listening, and perspective-taking exercises. All tools and strategies are shared as coaching cards for reference and revision at home. Most couples find this approach produces marked improvement after only 3-4 sessions.
You can listen to Jill’s personal experience with being in a neurodiverse partnership in ‘My Neurodiverse Love, My Trauma, My Healing and My Counselling,’ recorded on the podcast Neurodiverse Love (03.03.2024). Click here to listen.
Key components that may be addressed with Jill’s support:
Neurology and Communication:
- Psychoeducation about different neurology (brain wiring) as well as the unique strengths and challenges of each neurotype and how common traits associated with different neurodivergent conditions can affect relationships.
- Recognising why neurodiverse couples may experience difficulty seeing each other’s perspectives and how this may lead to confusion, conflict and unhelpful assumptions.
- Repairing dysfunctional communication patterns, conflict, and distress and building capacity for improved communication and a stronger partnership.
- Learning new patterns of communication and creating a consistent common language allowing each partner to feel understood.
Conflict, Trauma and Repair:
- Discovering how years of unresolved conflict may have led to significant distress, maladaptive patterns of conflict, and relationship trauma.
- Learning what trauma is. Understanding common neurodiverse couple’s trauma cycles. Helping couples to identify, sense and name what’s happened to them.
- Using a trauma informed approach to help both partners heal.
- Discovering the difficulties with traditional talking therapies to heal trauma and how applying non-talking therapies may benefit a neurodiverse relationship.
- Developing techniques for de-escalating conflicts, finding compromises, and problem-solving together.
- Teaching healing skills – self-awareness, mindfulness and meditation, self-care, emotional safety, and purpose.
- Understanding about secure and insecure attachments in childhood and how this can affect current relationships as well as dysregulation of the nervous systems when attachment needs are not met.
- Helping couples to develop the capability to repair through understanding, acceptance, recognition of damage and forgiveness.
Take the first step towards a healthier and more fulfilling relationship. Contact Jill to schedule a consultation or learn more about the service.
Read about my Services
Testimonials
” My partner and I have loved working with Jill for the past few weeks. The tips and advice she’s given us are easy to remember and extremely practical, and her deep understanding of the differences in our communication styles have made these sessions much more valuable than couples counselling we had previously. Jill is incredibly empathetic and non-judgemental, and we’ve loved her results-orientated approach. She is is up-to-date with the latest insights and does her research to ensure all our questions are answered.”
” Jill’s knowledge of neurodiverse couples has been a breakthrough for us. She is incredibly knowledgeable, empathetic and understanding, and in turn allowed us to understand the patterns and pitfalls of our communication.”
” A wonderful neurodiverse couple coach who listens with no judgement. My partner and I always look forward to our sessions with Jill. Her life experience and evidenced-based approach makes it easy for me to understand my autistic partner’s behaviours and communication style.”